


Unintended Consequences

by Shi_Toyu



Series: Stark Week 2017 [7]
Category: Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Everyone Is Poly Because Avengers, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Multi, Strangers to Lovers, The Author Regrets Nothing, Tony Being Tony, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, the bachelor - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 06:18:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11753799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shi_Toyu/pseuds/Shi_Toyu
Summary: Tony only agreed to be on this stupid show because of Rhodey. He never expected anything to come of it... He certainly hadn't expected this.





	Unintended Consequences

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rinsachi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinsachi/gifts).



> This goes out to the wonderful Rinsachi, who gave me the original prompt and who is a constant source of light in my life.
> 
> Prompt: The Bachelor AU where someone convinces Tony to be the bachelor (or do a reality show similar to it), and all of the others are the contestants. Nobody, Tony included, expects anything to come of it - perhaps most of them did it for the publicity/a prize or something - but they end up genuinely liking Tony and wanting to ‘win’ him. Chaos ensues. Someone does indeed get challenged to mortal combat. Clint and/or Natasha are eliminated, but refuse to leave. Thor gets caught making out with another contestant, Jane. Nobody knows T’Challa is actually a prince from Wakanda. Bucky originally only signs up so Steve will have moral support, but ends up being Steve’s biggest rival. Pepper has to pop migraine medicine like candy, because the whole thing is a PR nightmare.

Tony twisted the first rose from the pile between his fingers. They were only halfway through the season and so far the decisions of who to send home had been pretty easy. (Hammer had been a fucking _joke_.) Now, though, as he looked at the array of individuals left in the running, his gut twisted uncomfortably. How was he possibly supposed to decide who should leave and who should stay? He hadn’t honestly expected to find _anyone_ when this whole thing had started, thanks to a joke from Rhodey that’d gone too far.

Now?

The producer had praised him over and over for the amount of drama that was already happening. The show had never been as successful as this season was making it. The general public just couldn’t get enough, apparently. Hell, Steve was a five-foot-nothin’ asthmatic from Brooklyn who’d started a fist fight the first day of shooting and was competing against his amnesiac best friend. Two of the other contestants, Thor and Jane, were being regularly caught making out even though they both insisted that didn’t mean they weren’t still interested in making out with Tony, too. (Jane had also happily suggested the three of them all make out together.) They weren’t as bad as Loki, at least, Thor’s adopted brother who kept bringing people back to the mansion.

Only last week they’d discovered the explosively angry side of Dr. Banner, who Tony had already been a little in love with just on the merit of his scientific papers. Peter Quill’s friends kept sneaking in to get drunk and hang out. Clint and Natasha weren’t even supposed to be there at all, according to the producer. They’d just shown up the first day and no one noticed until it was too late. They were allowed to stay since they were great for the ratings. Then there was T’Challa, Sam, Pietro, Strange, Victor von Doomsbury… All of whom were amazing and wonderful and too attractive for Tony’s own good.

Tony glanced around at the camera crew filming the rose ceremony. The director was making a rolling gesture with his hands, trying to tell Tony to get things started. This wasn’t being televised live, of course, but they were still wasting tape with nothing happening. Tony took a deep breath and set the rose back on the pedestal with the others.

Pepper was going to kill him for the PR nightmare coming her way.

“Over the past few weeks I’ve gotten to know each of you,” he began, “both individually and as a group. Some days, that’s gone smoother than others. Each week, I’ve chosen who stays and who leaves, whittling things down further and further… Each week, it gets harder.”

He paused to marshal his thoughts. Everyone looked a bit confused, a bit lost. This wasn’t the plan for tonight. Tony couldn’t help but give a huff of laughter at the absurdity of it all.

“Not too long ago, I was pretty sure I was going to spend the rest of my days alone. I’d never met someone that I wanted to spend my life with as more than just a friend. I struggled with the idea that someone might think of _me_ that way, even. Here we are, though, and I am surrounded by people who _do._ You are all beautiful and brilliant and-God, you’re all so amazing,” he gushed a little, his heart giving a flutter and a soppy smile stealing across his face. “And that’s why, tonight, I’m not sending any of you home. In fact, I’m not going to be sending any of you home at all. Period.”

The director looked like he was about to have a heart attack, but he didn’t call cut. Tony took a deep, steadying breath. It was now or never.

“I’d like to make a proposal. To all of you. Anyone who doesn’t want to be a part of it, that’s fine. I won’t hold it against you, but… I’m going to make it.”

You could have heard a pin drop, the set was so quiet.

“I would like to start a committed, long-term relationship, with all of you. Polyamory, if you will.”

There was another moment of silence and then, “Fuck,” Steve cursed. “Yes, absolutely. How do you keep getting even hotter?”

Barnes shot him a glare.

“Language,” he scolded. Then, without dropping his Resting Murder Face, “I’m in.”

“Doom is not accustomed to sharing,” Victor boomed, “but I believe it would be worth it to learn, for you.”

After that it was like a landslide, everyone giving their enthusiastic agreement. Tony stumbled toward them, tears of relief gathering in his eyes, and the whole group swarmed him.

Yeah, Pepper might kill him for this, but at least he’d die happy.

**Author's Note:**

> We're halfway through Stark Week, folks! I can't believe it's passing so quickly! I guess that's what happens when you're having fun. ;)


End file.
